Why am I alive? While I was going through bad times, I would wonder about that. But it was like not seeing the tree for the forest. As I got through it turning back wasn’t an option. So the question stayed unanswered, hanging over me, waiting for the next time to possibly overwhelm me.

Shibuya Nights, by Andre Benz

Right now, I’m in the best time of my life — breathing, fully conscious and aware — so I ask myself:

Why am I? I am not for me, I am for you.

Have you ever found yourself being of service to your friend, your family, your community? How did it feel?

Today I’m unhealthy, I ate a whole large pizza last night to the point where I felt sick to my stomach. I got more weight on my ribs than last year, drinking more often than I would consider good for myself. But I’m having the best time of my life.

Sure I’ll have to change my lifestyle to pay tribute to the gift I’ve been given. However the gift I received is not for me, it’s for the people I am allowed to touch.

I am for you, and it’s my mission to share with you what I’m learning. My thoughts will be random, my opinions are going to change, my commitment is strong. Life has been great to me and gifted me with this amazing brain. Capable of more than I can understand. But on the journey of curiosity I’ll learn and understand more every day. Life has given me a big heart, to share my love for you and everyone around.

Writing this is not just putting words on paper in the hopes to fill a page, it’s sincere, heartfelt gratitude for you. You reading this, especially if I don’t know you personally, means more to me than I can tell. One of my core values is to build relationships. And my way of doing that, is to let you see me. My strengths and weaknesses, my true and most authentic self.

So why am I alive? To give myself in the trust you might see, hear or feel something you needed, just in the right moment.